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Post by HyperLinkzer on Mar 18, 2015 6:02:00 GMT
Which side of a chicken has the least feathers?
The inside!!
Ha ha
:P
Hopefully you guys have some better jokes than I do.
-HL
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Post by Lērtāen Miklul on Mar 20, 2015 14:38:15 GMT
I'm not sure if I put this on the old UG, but here's a riddle I made up:
Black above White beneath Underworld Undersea
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Post by gamemastergrimwarden on Mar 21, 2015 13:52:07 GMT
Q: Why was the cargo plane to the Bahamas about to crash?
A: Because the pilot was a loaf of bread
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Post by Jag Starblade on Mar 23, 2015 8:14:56 GMT
Two churchgoers were commenting about their pastor's sermon. "It reminded me of the love of God," one said. "I thought it would endure forever." "Oh, that's funny," the other said. "It reminded me of the grace of God. I thought it passed all comprehension."
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Post by Lērtāen Miklul on Mar 26, 2015 20:27:27 GMT
This is kinda a joke, and kinda just a funny conversation.
P1: (because he couldn't solve a trick question riddle) I am a complete idiot. I don't know why it took me that long to get it.
P2: You're not an idiot! You just turned off your common sense for a few minutes.
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Glade
Elf
Minstrel
Posts: 48
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Post by Glade on Mar 27, 2015 16:21:07 GMT
I love this thread! Great ones, guys!
Here's a possibly lame joke:
How does Kat use her Gift in battle? She uses phycological warfare!
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Post by HyperLinkzer on Mar 28, 2015 3:31:28 GMT
A cow went to a revival tent one night. It was very mooving. :)
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Apr 1, 2015 22:41:51 GMT
I'm not sure if I put this on the old UG, but here's a riddle I made up: Black above White beneath Underworld Undersea Yep, you did.
Sign behind an Amish carriage: "Energy efficient vehicle. Runs on grass and oats. CAUTION: Avoid exhaust!"
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Post by Jag Starblade on Apr 8, 2015 22:44:26 GMT
A man who smells of alcohol enters a bus and sits down next to a priest, reading a newspaper. The man asked the priest, "Father, what causes arthritis?"
The priest wanted to teach the man a lesson, so he replied, "Wild living and alcohol."
He feels sorry for the man and so asks him: "How long have you had arthritis?"
The man shakes his head. "I don't have it. I was just reading here that the Pope does."
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Post by Leilani Sunblade on Apr 8, 2015 22:51:21 GMT
Haha. I don't think I've heard that one before. xD
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Post by Aviar Goldeneagle on Apr 8, 2015 23:39:04 GMT
Hahaha. I'm honoured that you posted that, Jag Starblade. I'm glad you liked it. BTW, I like your signature.
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Apr 9, 2015 22:33:36 GMT
Three men were in a NASA conference room to decide how to spend $10 billion. “I think we should put our men on Mars!” said the first man. “Ooh, good idea,” said the other two. “I think we should put our men on Venus!” said the second man. “Ooh, good idea,” said the other two. “I think we should put our men on the Sun!” “How are you going to do that?” “Easy. We go at night.”
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Post by Aarathyn on Apr 10, 2015 22:57:50 GMT
Haha nice one!!
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Post by Loon on Apr 17, 2015 15:58:34 GMT
P1: Pain is inconsequential. P2: *Stabs P1's hand* P1: OW!! What did you do that for?! P2: It's inconsequential. *Takes sip of cyanide*
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Apr 22, 2015 19:05:47 GMT
Wow, that's morbid.
This is a long one, but bear with me.
Reaching the end of a job interview, the Human Resources Officer asks a young engineer fresh out of the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, "And what starting salary are you looking for?" The engineer replies, "In the region of $125,000 a year, depending on the benefits package." The interviewer inquires, "Well, what would you say to a package of five weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every two years, say, a red Corvette?" The engineer sits up straight and says, "Wow! Are you kidding?" The interviewer replies, "Yeah, but you started it."
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Post by NightBlade on Apr 22, 2015 19:51:16 GMT
yeah, and it wasn't even funny "Are you kidding?" "Yeah but you started it" Now THAT was funny xD
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Apr 22, 2015 20:12:57 GMT
Here's a lame one-liner for y'all: A man got hit in the head with a can of Coke, but he was alright because it was a soft drink.
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Post by Loon on Apr 23, 2015 16:13:24 GMT
-_- Hah. Hah. *Slow clap*
Heres one I heard a while back: Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the idiots house. Knock knock.
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Post by NightBlade on Apr 24, 2015 2:01:14 GMT
Why did the bird stop? BECAUSE IT GOT HIT BY A PLANE
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Post by Loon on Apr 24, 2015 16:05:07 GMT
HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
What's old, cold, and once was alive?
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Post by NightBlade on Apr 24, 2015 18:23:52 GMT
Hitler? xD
What's yellow and doesn't float?
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Post by Loon on Apr 24, 2015 18:33:45 GMT
CLose enough xD It was a corpse
A dead bird?
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Post by NightBlade on Apr 24, 2015 18:40:33 GMT
Haha
A SCHOOL BUS
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Post by Jag Starblade on Apr 24, 2015 19:40:23 GMT
1. When Drefids want to buy something for their army (an approved purchase, of course) where do they get the money from?
2. What would you call a method of taking out hot things from the fire by using tongs with old jeans wrapped around them?
3. What would you call a roller coaster that could turn a loaf of bread into its ingredients?
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Apr 24, 2015 22:02:23 GMT
1. Purse of the Spider king 2. Denim and Tongs 3. The Ride of Unbaking?
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Post by Aviar Goldeneagle on Apr 24, 2015 22:16:10 GMT
Wow, that made me laugh.
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Post by Jag Starblade on Apr 25, 2015 7:16:51 GMT
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Apr 27, 2015 23:46:05 GMT
Yay!!
Here's another one-liner for y'all... Did you hear about the guy who dreamed he was eating a giant marshmallow? When he woke up, his pillow was gone.
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Post by Jag Starblade on May 19, 2015 9:25:32 GMT
Lol.
Once upon a time, there was a man. His grandfather died, leaving him a field of corn. However, the man had to harvest it himself. He already owned a combine harvester, but he only had a wheat header (for harvesting wheat). He found an old corn header for sale, so he bought it, attached it to his combine harvester, and drove it all the way to his grandfather's field (which was a long way away). He had a lot of adventures on the way.
If you wrote a book about this, what would you call it?
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Post by CNGoodhue on May 19, 2015 15:59:33 GMT
Lol. Once upon a time, there was a man. His grandfather died, leaving him a field of corn. However, the man had to harvest it himself. He already owned a combine harvester, but he only had a wheat header (for harvesting wheat). He found an old corn header for sale, so he bought it, attached it to his combine harvester, and drove it all the way to his grandfather's field (which was a long way away). He had a lot of adventures on the way. If you wrote a book about this, what would you call it? Sorry, just had to...
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