Once upon a time, there was a man. His grandfather died, leaving him a field of corn. However, the man had to harvest it himself. He already owned a combine harvester, but he only had a wheat header (for harvesting wheat). He found an old corn header for sale, so he bought it, attached it to his combine harvester, and drove it all the way to his grandfather's field (which was a long way away). He had a lot of adventures on the way.
If you wrote a book about this, what would you call it?
Answer: The Voyage of the Corn Header.
How do y'all think y'all are Southern? Seriously ... y'all are above the equator! Us blokes and gals down under are Southerners.
I'm not just a fool with a fancy guitar No, I am a priest and a prince in the Kingdom of God
Post by Dmitri Pendragon on Sept 21, 2015 7:31:11 GMT
So there were these three men: an American, an Australian, and a New Zealander. God came to them and said to them, "I will give you one thing for your country. What do you desire of Me?"
The American went first, because…you know…American. For the United States, he asked for power, and said he didn't mind if he was President as well. So God granted his request.
The Australian had to think about his request for a while. Eventually he decided to ask for a special wall encircling Australia. This wall would be bulletproof, missileproof, waterproof, diseaseproof, unwantedvisitorproof—basically able to keep out everything that could harm Australia. So God granted his request.
The New Zealander came last. He rubbed his chin, stamped his feet, scratched his head and the back of his neck, and put on his thinking cap for a few hours. Finally he thought of a gift which would be vastly beneficial for his country.
He pointed at the Australian, turned to God, and said, "Can you fill that wall with water?"
So there were three guys, an American, a New Zealander and a Australian. And they had been captured by an enemy camp, and they were sent to the firing squad. The New Zealander went first. The firing squad asked him if he had any last words. The New Zealander stood there for awhile, then yelled "Earthquake!" At this, the firing squad looked around, trying to locate the earthquake. In the conffuddle, the New Zealander got away. Annoyed, the firing squad got the American up. They asked him for his last words, and the American, seeing the New Zealander's success, yelled out. "Typhoon!" The firing squad looked around, trying to locate the typhoon. In the confusion, the American got away. Finally, it was the Aussie's turn. He rubbed his hands together, wondering what he would yell. The firing squad raised their rifles, and the leader asked for his last words. The Aussie smiled and yelled, "Fire!"
Post by Dmitri Pendragon on Sept 25, 2015 21:58:15 GMT
The reason you're tagged in the Riddles and Jokes thread is because you and Eru bait each other with patriotic claims about your own countries, and the (friendly?) hostility between NZ and Australia is well-known among us Kiwis.
But I did tell Raptor we've done enough jokes about Aussies now. For a while, anyway.
Post by Lērtāen Miklul on Sept 26, 2015 3:39:19 GMT
Dmitri Pendragon: three Quebecois went out hunting together. After a while they found some tracks. They discussed what manner of animal had made the tracks for a considerable amount of time. One said it was definitely a deer. the second suggested perhaps a bear. the third was quite certain that it must be a moose. "No, Monsieur," said the first one again. "It must be a grouse!"
Dmitri Pendragon: Elytra: Wait, it's actually referring to the oldest post on the Underground? (I never did chase that down in fact…)
Nov 27, 2019 19:32:25 GMT
Leilani Sunblade: Rose: Welcome to Whitehall/the new Underground! Glad to see you found your way here. As Elytra said, the riddle's pointing towards the old site and, specifically, a scavenger-hunt type game that WTB and CH set up when they first released the book
Nov 28, 2019 21:11:04 GMT
Leilani Sunblade: Sadly, the game is over, but we still have fun here.
Nov 28, 2019 21:11:16 GMT
Warrior of Aror: Let us sit round the hearth and tell stories of the lives we have lived these past moons! I myself have been working at a grand theater telling Bible stories from behind the scenes.
Feb 29, 2020 1:44:51 GMT