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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Jun 30, 2016 21:28:28 GMT
Here's some more puns and one-liners:
How does Moses make his tea? -Hebrews it.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
I'm reading a great book on anti-gravity. I can't put it down!
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Post by Elethia Arvell on Jul 1, 2016 1:08:08 GMT
XD Love it!
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Jul 5, 2016 17:43:22 GMT
A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
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Post by NightBlade on Jul 6, 2016 3:30:37 GMT
xD trololol
What's yellow and doesn't float? A school bus. #antijoke
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Jul 6, 2016 13:41:38 GMT
A friend of mine tried to annoy me with bird puns, but I soon realized that toucan play at that game.
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Post by Warrior of Aror on Jul 7, 2016 15:31:21 GMT
Here's a popular riddle, so some of you have probably already heard it.
What disappears the moment you say its name?
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Post by CNGoodhue on Jul 7, 2016 16:05:29 GMT
Silence? I dunno haha.
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Post by Warrior of Aror on Jul 26, 2016 1:40:48 GMT
I did not respond quickly...
Yes, that is the answer. XD I found it on a warm up page for an IQ test.
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Post by NightBlade on Jul 26, 2016 16:25:36 GMT
"I'm sorry sir." The doctor said, "but the illness is terminal." The man had been expecting this, and nodding grimly, asked "How long do I have left?" "About five." The doctor replied. "Five?" "Four." "Wait, four what?" "Three..."
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Jul 26, 2016 22:02:08 GMT
Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
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Post by Elytra on Aug 3, 2016 21:33:25 GMT
What do footwear do in boxing?
They sock each other!
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Aug 18, 2016 13:33:37 GMT
I made this one up so it'll probably be really easy...
An unspoken anthem of national pride; From sunup to sundown, filling the skies
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Post by Ellron Silvertree on Aug 18, 2016 16:26:32 GMT
Well I would say an eagle or something, but you're Canadian aren't you? So is it a maple leaf?
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Aug 18, 2016 16:37:38 GMT
No...
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Post by Ellron Silvertree on Aug 18, 2016 16:49:48 GMT
Honestly, I have no idea. But I'm emotionally traumatized because of a TV show right now, so that's likely part of why.
EDIT: Also, I apologize if I acted uncouth earlier. I am actually a great lover of Canada and I have Canadian family, and I forget that this isn't known on the internet. I intended no ill will.
Also, I still have no idea for the riddle... ^-^'
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Post by Kirenyth Fireblade on Aug 18, 2016 23:04:36 GMT
Ellron Silvertree no offense taken! I'm also American by birth (and now by residency) but the answer works both ways: it's a flag. I'm really surprised that you didn't get it right away. I may be better at making these up than I thought...
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Post by Ellron Silvertree on Aug 19, 2016 2:05:14 GMT
Okay good. :)
Oh! You know, it's funny, because the flag (as in the emblem that is the flag) did cross my mind, but for some reason I didn't think of it in the right way. Either way, I thought it was pretty good!
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Post by NightBlade on Aug 19, 2016 16:19:32 GMT
During an interview, the reporter asked the scarecrow if he disliked his rather boring job. "Well, it's not for everyone." The straw man replied. "But hay...it's in my jeans."
The tophat had gotten himself ready much quicker than the necktie. "You hang around," hat said. "I'll go on a head."
Okay now your IQ has probably dropped....sorry x)
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Post by Elytra on Sept 2, 2016 8:23:24 GMT
I was going through all these jokes at lunch time at my work. My co-workers loved them.
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Post by CNGoodhue on Sept 3, 2016 16:48:26 GMT
Where do you work Raptor? I didn't know you had a job haha.
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Post by Elytra on Sept 4, 2016 19:47:17 GMT
Well.... I don't actually have a job. One day a week building stuff. It's all learning, and I don't get paid. Nor do I want to be.
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Post by Jag Starblade on Sept 5, 2016 1:57:09 GMT
Yeah, I didn't know he had a job either. I don't know if I have a job or not... I have a business, but I don't get paid (at least I haven't taken any drawings/wages/salary. The business gets paid though)
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Post by Elytra on Sept 5, 2016 5:44:14 GMT
Though I could be the first one of our family to get a full time job. xD
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Post by Elytra on Sept 21, 2016 0:51:32 GMT
Here's a good one.
Q: Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are stranded on a desert island. Who survives?
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Post by Warrior of Aror on Sept 21, 2016 1:05:19 GMT
Neither, hopefully. XD
But I can't think of a real answer.
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Post by Elytra on Sept 21, 2016 1:57:36 GMT
America.
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Post by Warrior of Aror on Dec 10, 2016 19:28:51 GMT
Raptor, that was genius. I can't believe I didn't see the answer before.
What never flies but has wings, What is a bird that never sings, What is an emperor Yet wears no fur?
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Post by Leilani Sunblade on Dec 10, 2016 21:17:06 GMT
It's a penguin.
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Post by Warrior of Aror on Dec 11, 2016 19:52:02 GMT
Yep. And what kind of penguin?
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Post by Leilani Sunblade on Dec 11, 2016 20:12:54 GMT
An emperor penguin.
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